Many of you know I lost my grandmother on March 2, 2012. Some of you are aware of the closeness and love we shared. My grandmother was my mother and father. Like some of you reading this, I grew up without my mother and father. My granny filled in the gap and raised me. We had some very challenging times, but my granny sacrificed everything to make sure I was OK. She went without, so I could have. I can still recall all the beautiful things she did for me, but the greatest thing she showed me was unconditional love.
My grandmother was always meek, humble, gentle, loving, nurturing and so prayerful about every situation life placed before us. When I was young, I often thought she was too nice. However, as I became a man, I learned this was the source of her greatest strength.
One day, after coming home from a long day at school, she sat me down and said she wanted to talk to me about love. Here is what we discussed:
1. Love is unconditional. The beauty of love is that it’s strong and lasting, because of its unconditional nature. God’s love for us remains… no matter what we do. This is the same way He has called us to love our children, family members, spouse and others we grow to love. I remember her saying, with tears in her eyes, that no marriage can last a lifetime without unconditional love.
2. Love is sacrificial. Love has to sacrifice for the good of those involved. Love is not about winning an argument or being lavished with gifts. It is about sacrificing to help their life become a little bit better, because you are there. Learning how to be patient and selfless is fundamental to loving anyone.
3. Love is patient and kind. Kindness and patience are the pillars of love. They are the muscles that allow people to lift or climb out of a tough situation. Kindness and patience help us stand on faith and wait for the perfect peace of God.
4. Love is selfless. Read here -> 6 Reasons Selfishness Will Destroy Your Relationship
5. Love doesn’t play with the hearts of others. Love people enough to not play strings with their heart and don’t allow them to play with your heart. High character people will love and commit to only you. When someone wants to play with your heart it means they fear commitment, are insecure, have low self-esteem and trust issues, and just lack a desire to live right. Some people crave the thrill and excitement that lust and drama bring. Others simply have unhealthy co-dependency issues, which can lead to addictions (sex, unhealthy attachments, etc…).
6. Never be satisfied with a piece of a heart. Don’t accept less than the best from someone. Sometimes things may start off like a burden, but they can become a great bridge. Always pray for discernment from the Holy Spirit.
7. Learn from your broken-heart. At times we will get our hearts broken. We will also disappoint and hurt others. The key is that we should learn from our pain and be mature enough to be accountable for the pain we caused. Every relationship, good or bad, has a very powerful lesson to be learned… just make sure you learn the lesson and work hard to never repeat it.
8. When you love someone you have to be willing to fix the problems. Trying to ignore issues and hope they go away will guarantee they will continue to come up. We have to work hard on problems when they come up and have a willing heart to work together to solve them. A strong willingness to work through problems shows a strong love walk.
9. Learn from your family members. My granny was big on me observing the entire family (including her) and learning from their mistakes. She said I could learn so much about the spiritual attacks on the family, which would teach me how to be a better man and love better. We all can learn from the mistakes of our mother, father, or any family member. Learning from family will help you live and love better. For example, if you have a mother or father who has been divorced several times, or who has been terrible at relationships, you can try to learn why and then ask yourself… “Am I headed in that direction? Am I like my mom or dad? Have their bad habits or approach to love negatively influenced me?”
10. God is love. Always allow God to live inside of you. Allow His love to fill your heart so you can represent His love to others. God proved His love by giving us His son, Jesus, to restore fellowship between God and man.
Always remember when someone truly loves you they make you face who you really are.
I will forever cherish the love and everything my granny sacrificed for my life. Each day I work hard to continue to cope with her not physically being here with me. I know she is with Jesus now. I love and miss her dearly. I pray all of us continue to work harder to love where Satan would purpose for us to fail.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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