We all make mistakes in life, but I feel we often repeat a lot of the same mistakes from one relationship to the next. I think this happens because we fail to take personal responsibility for who we are and we think, eventually, it will work because “it’s not me it’s them”! Well, you are wrong my friend.
If the same thing continues to happen, you are the common denominator. So, simply changing dating partners will not change the mistakes you continue to make. Always turn the mirror around on yourself and be accountable for who and what you are, so you can identify the root cause of your issues. The root cause of it all is where you must heal.
Here are 15 common relationship mistakes we all make:
1. Rebound Relationships. This simply means you are rushing into a new relationship before you are ready. Remember, a rebound relationship may numb your pain, but it delays your healing.
2. Having sex or having sex too soon. Getting naked will get you everything, but a ring. If you expect to meet people with pure motives to love and be committed to you, sex should not be a casual or lustful event. Sex blurs the lines and negatively affects your decision making about the person, because you start to view things from a lustful and emotional perspective. No sex gives you the opportunity to get to know someone without the sexual ties and confusion sex can bring. Learn more about overcoming sexual soul ties here-> 5 Tips to Overcoming Sexual Soul Ties
3. Emotional decision making. God leads you with wisdom. Emotions drive you off a cliff. Nothing is wrong with emotion, but it can’t be used in decision making.
4. Judging character based on money, looks, or success. Remember, character is more important than money, looks, or success. True stability comes from excellent character.
5. Focusing so much on the ex that you miss your next.
6. Having sex with your ex. How can you expect to attract the right person when your character is flawed? How can you expect to meet the right person when you’re still dipping in your candy jar? You have to close one door before you open another.
7. Dating to fulfill aloneness. When you date to fulfill aloneness, in the end, you still end up alone because your motives are wrong. Seeking out empty relationships simply to fulfill a deep emotional wound only leads to other wounds. You dated and used people in hopes of having love, but all you really got was sex, a broken heart, disappointment, STD and (in some cases) an unwanted pregnancy. What affect did this unwanted pregnancy have on your life?
8. Don’t follow your heart. Lead your heart. For a deeper explanation read my article “Warning: Don’t follow your heart.”
9. Trying to change people. None of us can change anyone, only God can. However, we can be a great catalyst to change. Lead by example
10. Thinking a relationship is the answer to your pain or problem.
11. Expecting what you can’t or are not willing to give. Don’t expect someone to be loving, kind, financially stable, honest, a servant of God, and patient when you can’t love unconditionally, you are not financially stable, you don’t serve God, and you are not patient. Remember, having your way in a relationship is not love. That is called selfishness.
12. Selfishness. The Bible teaches us that we must die to the flesh daily. We all are naturally bent towards being selfish. However, this is why we must die to the flesh daily and work hard to be selfless on a daily basis, when it comes to sharing with others. Selfishness is the complete opposite of love.
13. You don’t know how to love or lack full understanding of its operation. Read my article “Relationship Coaching: Love is a Choice.”
14. You appear desperate or don’t value yourself, thus you attract people looking to take advantage of you.
15. Staying in long –term relationships more than three years. If two people can’t get married after three years, it’s time to mutually agree to let the relationship go. The exception is if there are some special issues that prevent marriage (e.g. need to pay off debt, finish school, need to save up more money before marriage, etc…). Don’t drag relationships out where it’s clear someone is with you or you are with them waiting on someone else to come along. It’s bad character and you are setting yourself up for hurt. Remember, we all reap what we sow.
What relationship mistakes have you made?
Here’s what I want you to do next:-)
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