Where are the perfect people who have perfect relationships? Exactly. They don’t exist. No relationship is perfect, because there are no flawless people. Every couple will have their share of conflicts, struggles, disagreements, and arguments. It’s going to happen.
The goal is to have a relationship that is pleasing to God; one which allows Him to use you in spite of imperfections. This means, while we will all make mistakes, we should be mindful to remedy issues that are foundational enough to change the core (the fruitfulness) of our relationships. 
Here are 6 surefire reasons your relationship is failing:
1. Selfishness: The opposite of love is selfishness. The Bible teaches, when we sow to the flesh we reap from the flesh (Galatians 6:8). Selfishness and love cannot co-exist. Relationships are about working together as one and dying to self to benefit another. When two people do this with healthy motives they are a powerful couple.
2. Expecting what you cannot give: Again, this is tied to selfishness. Often, people expect so much from people when they give or offer so little. Whatever you are expecting, make sure you can give it first!
3. Wanting people to prove something to you: This is also tied to selfishness. I once heard a Pastor say, “Don’t give your heart to anyone who has not proven anything.” While I do agree with this premise, he left out one important point. A relationship requires couples to prove their true worth, intent, and interest together as one. It’s not something one person has to prove before the other person steps out. They should step out together as one and, if that can’t happen, don’t step out at all.
There will always be people who need you to prove things before they move forward with you. However, this is an indication of unresolved pain, fear, trust issues, etc… We should never sit back and wait to see what someone else will do before we act. Instead, we should become active participants in the getting to know process.
4. Lack of Trust: Trust is a major part of any relationship. Often, unresolved pain or issues from past relationships is the root cause of lack of trust. Trust can also be rooted in insecurities. Couples can resolve trust issues, by openly discussing the issues and making a passionate effort to heal from past or current problems. Create an environment of trust and, if possible, help the person who has the trust issues. Respect the relationship by not over-reacting to the problem and being consistent in your actions.
5. Lack of teamwork: No relationship can survive without both people working together as one. Always make sure you are on the same page and walking in the same direction.
6. Rushing into a relationships: We have beat this issue over the head countless times and I will continue to discuss it, because it’s a major reason for countless relationship failures and problems. Moving too fast completely hinders the development of a healthy relationship and, if someone is fresh out of relationship, they need time to heal before loving again. See blog “Rebound Relationships”
Closing thought:
There will always be areas of your life you want to improve. This is the case for everyone with good intentions. We seek to grow and develop; to offer more and be more of the person we know we can be. My desire is for us all to clearly identify the things that disturb the foundation of fruitful relationships. These are the things we must be diligent about resolving and healing from so we can experience love as the true gift that it is.
I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will help you when put it into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …
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