Relationship Coaching: 7 confessions of how a life coach overcame a breakup

Relationship break-ups are a huge part of the email questions I receive, so I decided to address the issue with all of you. I, personally, have been down and hurt over a break-up, so I know firsthand about the pain you feel-the sense of lost, disappointment and emptiness. My last break-up a few years ago had me so emotionally torn that I did not even want to eat. I know a lot of people guys don’t hurt that way, but we do. I am just man enough to admit it.7 confessions of how a life coach overcame a breakup

I am going to share with you tips I have learned to cope with my own break-up. This is just another example of how God will use our past pain to be a blessing to another, but we must be willing to be transparent, honest, and caring. Here are 7 confessions of how I overcame a break-up:

1. Don’t isolate yourself. This is very important because I completely cut off communication with everyone for about two weeks or so. I remember my aunt, mother, and friends calling me leaving encouraging voice mails. I isolated myself because I felt it was easier to cope. I wanted to pray and talk to God without distractions. Being alone talking to God was good, but isolating myself was not.

2. Learn from it. Not only should you learn from it, but you should also judge yourself and determine the role you played in the failure of the relationship. It’s also important to even determine if you are attracting the same men or women.  Begin to address who you are and what you truly value in life. Just forget about a list and focus on character and Godly values. I learned from my pain that people truly are selfish; they will lie to avoid losing you. Looks fade, but motives mean everything and character is most important.

3. It’s all a new beginning. Understand that you can become so much better for the next person and yourself. The reason it’s hard for us to let go of people is because we feel we need them. We have to stop believing that lie. I had to stop believing I need her and that she was my future wife. Relationships good or bad should make you a better person.

4. Give yourself time to grieve. The worst thing you can do is rebound into another relationship. When we are fresh out of a relationship, we are vulnerable. Please have enough self-love and love for others to avoid involving another in your pain. Take time to heal. I was very tempted to start a new relationship with a friend, but maintained my character and avoided that mistake. I cared more about avoiding hurting her, than her numbing my pain.

5. Don’t trade one pain for another. Meaning don’t mask your pain in food, drugs, clothes, cars, sex, clubbing, etc. Allowing yourself to go in certain environments will only cause you to run to the arms of another. Instead, attend church and take a nice get-away alone to reflect and clear your mind. Read the blog “Healing before love.” Click here.

6. Take care of yourself. Don’t allow your looks, eating habits, or anything else fall off because of the pain you are feeling. Start reading books, taking walks, begin a fitness program and just learn to take long, hot baths. I let myself fall off a little. I still kept myself up, but I did not eat like I should have and dropped about 10-15 pounds over the stress of the break-up.

7. Get help. If needed, don’t be afraid to seek help from a Pastor, minister or counseling professional. This may be a great time to really determine some root causes of issues you may need to up-root out of your life to foster healthy relationships.

What other tips can you think of?

Here’s what I want you to do next:-)

I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will  help you when put into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …

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