“Why am I still single? I’m a great catch.”
“Why can’t I just have one, good solid relationship?”
Many of us have seen, read, or even said some of these things. It’s perfectly normal to desire a relationship. However, sometimes our strong desire for a relationship is the very thing clouding our vision and stopping us from resolving issues and experiencing personal growth.
We must identify and fix the things that cause us to engage into fruitless relationships. We have to take an honest look at ourselves and be willing to change the things that contribute to being in a cycle of relationships that do not last.
1.You’re too needy. Being needy will always attract the wrong people. People who love to manipulate and take advantage of this vulnerability can smell you a mile away. Learn to be healthy and whole alone with God before seeking a relationship. No man or woman can give you what Jesus can.
2. You’re selfish. Being selfish will twist your motives and focus. When you are selfish, and you focus only on your happiness and what you can gain from a person, the relationship is doomed. Relationships are about sharing and being selfless.
3. You rush into relationships. Becoming caught up in lust and emotions will always cause you to move too fast. Take your time and develop a wonderful friendship. Learn about common values and character. There is no need to rush. Take time and learn to enjoy the journey of developing a beautiful friendship before love.
4. You struggle with being happy alone. Dating to fulfill aloneness only leaves you in a cycle of hurt, pain and disappointments. It will not make you better and you will blame men or women for your failed relationships, without realizing you are the problem. Don’t date for a warm body and companionship.
5. You attract the wrong people. When we fail to admit our own deep rooted issues, we will attract what we are on the inside. We have to admit who and what we are and then seek our healing. Until we seek our healing, we will look for people to bring comfort to our wounds. Stop the cycle and begin the healing.
7. Unrealistic expectations. We all have some level of expectations and we all should. However, your expectations should be in line with what you can actually reciprocate into the life of another. Expecting what we don’t bring to the table is selfish and shows we are expecting people to satisfy our emptiness.
Please understand singleness is not a bad thing. It is a time where we can learn and gain so much. If you are struggling with enjoying and making the most of being single, please read “9 Reasons Singleness is Good for You.” What other reasons can you add to this discussion? Please comment below.
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