This notion that Christians don’t battle sexual urges is kind of silly and churchy. No person is exempt from any form of temptation.
The idea that because one is a follower of Jesus Christ they won’t get tempted to have sex or engage in sexual activity is non-sense. Whether you are a married Pastor, single minister, or a layman… you will deal and struggle with temptation. A lot of people tend to believe this is limited to men only, but females struggle just as much as men – society just looks at the situations differently.
So, the question becomes… how do you (single male, single female, married couple) deal with sexual temptation?
Here are 7 things I have considered when dealing with my own struggle to deal with sexual temptation:
1. Being saved and having morals is not your medicine against sexual temptation. We have to understand this and not think that, because we are not doing certain things, we will not even be tempted to do those things. We have to always be mindful of where we are allowing our minds to go. The same goes for single people who are living a life of celibacy.
2. There is no medicine that makes you immune to sexual temptation.
3. Sexual temptation is about a personal choice. However, if you do fall to the temptation, get up and keep going. Never allow defeat to steal your joy.
4. Sexual temptation and sin are not synonymous. Just because we are tempted, does not mean we have to yield to it.
5. If you keep falling to a certain sexual temptation, personally decide you will stop. Look deep inside and discover the root cause of it and up-root it. Understand this is a personal decision and a lifestyle. You must actively work at it to defeat it.
6. Eliminate unnecessary contributors to your sexual temptation: specific people, sex toys, masturbation, pornography, and anything else that makes you vulnerable.
7. Ask a trusted friend to hold you accountable for sexual temptation. Men should ask a male friend and women should ask a female friend for this.
What other tips can you think of?
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Hi sir, one thing I would like to add, is the importance of being held accountable to someone who is already victorious in their walk with being sexually pure. Be it they are married and committed to only their spouse, or they are single and have been successful at giving their wholeself over to the Lord ,spirit,soul, and body. You spoke about what to eliminate , and about getting back up should you fall, but let’s not leave out that if we continuously put on the whole amour of God, that we can withstand the darts from the enemy. Temptation is real, but the power of God through obedience to His word, is more than able to aid us in being able to resist temptation. Let’s not give life to the temptation by entertaining it, but let us allow the word of God to be an active shield for us. We don’t want to suppress our flesh, we want to kill it off daily. There is so much common sense, so much wisdom in the will of God, so if we seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, and not seeking the closest way to wrong while still being right, we’ll get far better results. (Sorry if I rambled) Thanks for the blog, God bless you brother!
That was step #7…Temptation is not about the enemy and it’s past time the church understands this. It’s a personal choice and decision simple as that. The word of God is a weapon against it in terms of developing the discipline and overcoming the flesh. I purposely don’t write churchy, because we have people who have real life struggles in this area that goes beyond us writing what sounds good. We have to address it head on because we have Pastors, etc struggling in this area and until the root cause of it is faced it will continue to be an issue. Thank you for your kind words
I saw it as a step, I was just stating that you want to be accountable with a victorious person, not a person that won’t hold you to a standard that they know is attainable. I wrote that from experience. I understand the un churchy appraoch too, lol. Trust, I didn’t feel churchy when I had struggles either, there is a different “feeling” when one is secure wit their personal relationship with God. Love the blogs ,plz keep them coming hitting those tender yet oh so real issues that others won’t address. Much love 🙂
Bro. McCall,
I am blessed to read this post online. Nos. 6 & 7 are a great help specifically, for I am constantly trying to eliminate the things that can potentially cause me to stumble. I spend little time around people who mock my attempt to live single & celibate. It’s tough sometimes but all I can do is spend little to no time around them. I have used a site called X3 watch and enlisted the help of trustworthy accountability partners who keep me in check when I start to feel like I’m struggling.
Elliot,
Awesome! and thanks for mentioning the X3 site. I am so happy to read about your breakthrough. Continue your walk and u will be greatly rewarded my friend.
I love this article, especially the part about temptation not being limited to men. I have been celibate for 6 years and most men think its a cake walk because I’m a woman. It has definitely been a challenging journey. I think the biggest help for me would be tip #6. Everyone has different triggers and its very important to know what can potentially lead you to succumb to temptation. Also one of my biggest deterrents to giving into temptations is my relationship with God. I’m always trying to give Him my best. And am so grateful for His grace and mercy every day. Great work!
Blessings to you and yours!
Hello Tammarin,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Congrats on the road you have been walking. Continue to defeat temptation and have victory in this area and others in your life. Thank you for sharing your story and share this blog with others who maybe blessed from it. Thank u, Q
I always find ur blogs to be very insightful. Keep doing the lords work so many can be as knowledgable as u. 🙂
@Alley,
Thank you so much my friend. Your encouragement is appreciated
Great article! Temptation is always going to be around us. What we do with it is another story. My husband and I share our struggles on our website http://www.marriagelifeministries.org and I would say that one thing we would add to this is the area of boundaries. If you want to have victory over temptation then appropriate boundaries have to be set up. If you get tempted by something on the computer then put a keylogger on it, have it password protected and have your spouse only know the password, etc. If you are tempted by the advances of the opposite sex don’t allow yourself to be alone with them, don’t open yourself up to inappropriate conversations or touches, share every interaction with that person with your spouse, bring your spouse up in conversations you do have with that person. Some of these things sound ridiculous I know but they work. We truly believe that a lot of people fall into temptation because they don’t have the proper relational boundaries set up. They don’t know where the line is. And even if they do they continually choose to walk up to it and stomp on it over and over again. In addition, this goes along with #7. Share with someone what your boundaries are that you have in place and have someone else keep you accountable with them.
Alecia,
Great things you and your husband are doing. Continue to keep up the wonderful work and I truly thank you for your comments. It truly added more knowledge to my article…Warm Regards, Q
This is spot on. I like particularly the fact that we are all prone to temptation. This is more vivid because in the ministry you deal with people who have insurmountable problems and need a shoulder to lean on. Their inclination to us in those moments makes us to reach the core of their hearts, feel their pain and we somehow become attached to them.
Thank you so much. Yes, it’s something in ministry and outside of ministry we all have to deal with daily
I would also have to say that reading the Word daily has been a tremendous help for me. As long as I’m meditating on the Word, the enemy has little room to plant thoughts into my head. When I’m really being tried, I honestly just cry out to the Lord and tell Him. If you can’t be honest with God, who can you be honest with? I know His grace will cover me as long as I’m willing to submit to it.
Also cultivating a lifestyle that does not allow the enemy to have access… in other words, I don’t grant access to people who would cause me to step outside of God’s will… and if I should, the Lord quickly removes them.
Fasting works… hate to do it, but it’s soooo necessary! LOL…
Thank you for the work you’re doing. It has been a MAJOR consolation during this season of healing. Dating is not something I’ve EVER enjoyed, but when I decide to venture out again, I will be more prepared thanks to this ministry!
Alana
Alana,
Awesome sis….yes reading the word is always important for every area in life. Thank u so much for adding some positive action steps and I agree with all of them.
Men of God read this