Relationship Coaching:4 common factors that will destroy your relationship: Part 1

How many of you have been in a relationship filled with a lot of emotion and broken promises? I would say we all have experienced that at some point or another.  I am sure most of us have been with person who expresses undying love one minute and then the next week they hate you.

Maybe we should all ask ourselves why do, so many relationships fail? There are varying reasons why relationships ultimately fail. I will discuss four main reasons this week and more next week. These factors are being discussed to shed light on areas we may need to judge ourselves and to think about before we enter a relationship, or that can be used to help improve a relationship on the rocks. Here are 4 factors that can contribute to a breakup:

  1. You are still dealing with your ex or another lover. I personally have dealt with this one in my past. Being unable to let go of a past lover ruined a relationship with amazing potential. If you are in a situation where you are still dealing with your ex or cheating with someone else this would be a great time to end this behavior. Ask yourself why you continue this behavior, and be honest in your answer. Get to the root cause and up root it. The only time dating multiple partners is acceptable if both parties agree to it.
  2. Failure to express desire of monogamy. If you are with someone clearly express your desire for an exclusive relationship with that person. If not express your desire to date multiple people. Either way be clear about your motives and intentions. This will help avoid a lot of problems. Some people are dating to marry and some people don’t know exactly what they desire. Some people just want sex, companionship, or time spent with someone. The key is that dishonesty kills trust, so be open and honest.
  3. Selfishness. This is a huge problem in relationships and marriage failures. I look at selfishness as a slow killing poison. Be very careful about giving your heart to selfish people because they will burn you. We all have the ability to be selfish, but you have to seek to be selfless. When people expect you to accept them as they are, but they expect you to be perfect they are selfish person. In a relationship selfishness will slowly erode the relationship until it’s nothing. Many people will expect of you what they themselves can’t  give all in the name of “worth.” Worth is not a high-minded view as if people were born to serve and grant your every wish. Self-worth is measured in clearly knowing your worth and your ability to share that with someone else. Worth is not a slogan that means you are everything and other people are beneath you. If you struggle with being selfish don’t date or pursue meaningful relationships until you mature enough to share life with someone and don’t seek to control for your selfish purposes. Selfishness prevents you from loving someone unconditionally.
  4. Bad motives. Don’t have a selfish motive or any bad motive for desiring a relationship. In the end you will be hurt or hurt someone else. Date with integrity. People were not created by God to be used to numb our personal pain or until Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along.

Check back next week for more factors that contribute to relationship failure. Please remember this is to help you judge yourself, so you can make healthy relationship decisions and seek healing if you struggle with any of these problems. We all can become better than where we are today.

Here’s what I want you to do next:-)

I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will  help you when put into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …

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