Relationship Coaching: Text Messaging

Technology has become a wonderful staple and a beacon of efficiency in our lives. Words that once took days to reach their intended recipient can now be communicated in mere seconds. We all know the mediums of email, texting, and the power of social networking.
I fondly remember growing up and loving to read and write. I definitely was an ardent reader and used writing to express how I saw the world at a young age. My tools were a No. 2 pencil and a pack of paper from K-mart Relationships: Text Messaging(my granny’s store of choice back in the day).I took what my world and environment showed me and wrote themes around it. I remember having thousands of pages of writings pages that I still have, ironically.
In today’s world the pencil and paper have been replaced by technology. The problem with technology in relationships is that we can’t build strong, healthy, and loving relationships with texting being our main source of communication. Relationships require a deep sense of connecting in oneness, accord and transparency. This is best developed in an environment conducive to fostering those activities.

“Face time” should replace texting as your main source of communication with your partner. If 50% or more of your conversation with your partner consist mainly of texting, email and online social networking, I suggest you both evaluate what you have. I know some of you are thinking, “I am busy!” Well, so are a lot us (especially me), but we can’t use busy as an excuse. Let’s be honest here: for some of us, we text because our hearts are truly unavailable. Texting keeps the relationships at a more informal level and in some ways reduce expectation.

For some people they text to do less work in the dating process, thus less work in the relationship. I feel heavy texting can be a sign of an unavailable heart. Texting is a way for some people to avoid deep emotional attachments, yet; still seek to have companionship. This only leads to friends with benefits or purely sexual connections which lead to ungodly sexual soul ties. I challenge all of us to get back to appreciating the beauty of getting to know someone using “face time,” which does include phone conversations.

If we can use our fingers to text, we can use them to make a call. Many of us have ruined beautiful and potential relationships through texting or email. Think about how many arguments happen in relationships because a simple misunderstanding that begins with a text message or email. It is very hard to gauge anger, sincerity, or sarcasm in a text message or email.

Here are five common and major mistakes concerning texting:

1. Please don’t text on dates because it is rude and in very bad taste. It says a lot about who you are. Have enough common courtesy and respect for who you are entertaining during your evening. The exception being an emergency.
2. Another major no-no is breaking up through texting. I feel it is very immature and shows a lack of respect. If any of you reading this were broken up with through texting that person was not worth the time anyway.
3. Don’t say I love you for the first time in a text message.
4. Don’t make texting your major source of communication with your partner or have conversation about a serious issue through a text message. Make time to discuss in person or by phone.
5. Don’t ask for a date through a text message, especially the first seven dates.

Let’s get back to “old school” human interaction and seek more “face time” and less “texting.” I feel it will create more healthy and vibrant relationships and help us discover more quickly our compatibility with someone. Technology can never replace our need for a human voice or touch.

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