Christian Dating: Simple Dating Do’s and Don’ts when getting to know someone

We often make the mistake of being physically attracted to someone, but failing to really get to know them. Physical attraction is fine, but without common values and character it really does not matter much. In my opinion, most people base their initial attraction solely on physically attraction – which is understandable, because it’s the first thing you see of someone in most cases. However, that should never be your foundation for choosing a mate or basing your interest on someone.
You see, attraction and chemistry will rise and fall throughout a relationship. Truth is, once you get used to the attraction of the one you are with, other people will become more attractive to you – especially if you suffer from lust and sexual addiction issues. A lot of times people take for granted the things they once found beautiful in who they are with and allow their eyes to lead to things that are not good for them.
So how should we approach getting to know someone?   Simple Dating Do's and Don'ts
We should get to know people as non-romantic friends and without the expectation of anything more than developing a wonderful friendship. Mistakes are often made when people don’t pump the brakes but do allow emotions, lust, and physical attraction to be their guide. Then, on the first date or in the coming 1-2 weeks, sex is happening and then we wonder why we are broken, empty, disappointed, and hopeless about love. Face the facts, we allow ourselves to be put in these situations because we don’t respect or love ourselves enough. We fail to love ourselves because we are hurting over other issues and we think the body of a man or woman, warmth, attention and companionship will make us feel better.
The truth is, lusting after these things with the wrong motives will only cause you to attract more of the wrong people for the wrong reasons. When you change on the inside, the people you attract will change.
Here are a few more things to consider when getting to know someone:
1. Don’t make the mistake of focusing on you when first meeting someone. Ask questions in the course of normal conversation and really become interested in the response. Don’t be about bragging or talking yourself up in an attempt to sale a dream. Usually, when people like someone, they get into the “I hope he/she likes me” realm of thinking. From there, they go into selling a dream mode – trying to increase the interest, for whatever reason. So, avoid this by keeping your motives pure and friendly in the beginning.

2. Don’t attempt to one-up. Don’t attempt to match conversation based on what someone is saying to you. You know, when someone tells a great and positive story about a friend, experience, etc… and someone else attempts to one up with a bigger story. I am personally irked by that behavior and I see it in men and women. Even when conversing with male friends, I hear them trying to one up something I’ve accomplished or some friend they know (sometimes it’s just a made-up lie). Getting to know someone is not about having a conversation competition.

3. Avoid the heavy and deep stuff early on. Just have fun in a relaxing and comfortable environment, with no physical or sexual contact.

4. Learn to Laugh….

5. Discover common goals, values, character and general life directions.

6. Act as you would at work around your co-workers.

Here’s what I want you to do next:-)

I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will help you when put it into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …

  • If this article is doing it for you, click the re-tweet button or facebook share below to share it with others.
  • Share your comments below.
  • Sign up below for my free 20 day audio series and K4L newsletter for additional content to help improve your life, relationship and career.
Join the K4LC Newsletter
* indicates required