Single Black Women: 10 Ways to Know if he is thinking long-term about you

Inside of our K4LC community I often get the question “How do I know if a man is serious about me?” I’ve always approached this question from an overall view of the getting to know process, because there are varying factors involved in really knowing the true motives of a man or woman.
With that being said, I want women all over this country to understand it takes time to truly know the real intentions of a man. A lot of what I am about to share with you will take between 6-12 months to see any of it. Often women and men get excited when you meet someone you really like and emotions will make you want to rush things into a commitment. I would strongly urge you not to rush, but to take your time and enjoy the journey.
If you set the standard high and allow a man to be a man, he will clearly show you if he sees you for friendship, fun, sex, wife potential, or flirting. However, you can’t set a standard for any man that you don’t yourself conform to. Be the one you want to attract in your life.
Here are 10 ways to know if a man is thinking long-term about you:
1. He will take his time getting to know you
One word of caution I always give to women is to watch out for a man who is in a hurry to wine or dine you. If he truly is interested in you for the right reasons, he is more interested in having a lot of phone conversations and developing a friendship. He is interested in truly getting to know you, so he will observe you over time. If he is rushing, it’s because he is after something.10 ways to know he is thinking of you long term
2. He opens up and communicates to you
A man who truly is interested in something long term with you will open up to you about his dreams, values, hopes, etc. He understands it’s easier to build a life with you when you can help, encourage, and support his dreams.
3. He will not attempt or pressure you to have premarital sex
Now, don’t get it twisted. No matter how “saved” or how much of a “man of God” he is…he will want to! No need to play games and sound all churchy about it, because it’s true. When he knows he has forever to share that with you he is not looking for quick sexual fun. So, single ladies, you set the bar very high by not having sex before marriage and men will have no choice but to step up. When you remove the sex you remove the men who are only pursing you for sex. Some will pursue for more than sex, but that more will not be marriage it will be fun and companionship.
4. He will remove other females from his life
This is important because it shows he is very serious about you. When you are involved in a serious courtship, having other options around only erodes the possibility of what is before you. Too many options just increases the chance no choice will be made.
5. He wants to date you and then move into an exclusive courtship
This means he wants to take the time getting to know you and move on into a serious courtship with the goal of getting married. Keep in mind that dating may or may not have marriage as the goal. For the difference between dating and courting see these articles:

6. He will introduce you to his family and friends when a serious courtship has been established
This is important because it speaks to his desire to want to share who you are with the people he loves and he deems important in his life. You might call this his credible others stage.
7. He shows interest in your children
If you have children, he will take interest in them and want them to be a part of his life, but as stated above you will learn this over a period of time. So, don’t expect a man to readily step out of the gate in this area. You have to first determine his feelings or thoughts about kids with you over time because it will vary from woman to woman.
8. He says I love you and means it
He shows it because his heart is pure towards you.
9. He will pray and attend church with you
This is important because this moves men into a family mindset
10. He likes to refer to you and him as “we” and “us.”
Last word
Keep in mind these are not all the signs, but I covered the ones I feel are most important if you are confused or unsure about whether the man you are with sees you as a long term option for his life. Please understand friendship before love. Always take everything to God in prayer concerning every relationship situation.

Here’s what I want you to do next:-)

I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will help you when put it into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …

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