In life we seek to be a part of a relationship. However, how often do we seek a relationship to multiply, add to, and enhance the life of another? Often we seek a relationship in order to gain something; however, the problem arises when the gain is for an improper motivation. Improper motivation can be anything from money, sex, business etc. Let’s seek a dissimilar approach to relationships. Keep in mind when I speak of relationships I am taking about all types of “relationships”: from business relationships to friendships.
Some of us begin “the process of being acquainted with” like “seeking a job.” The male or female submits their resume. They go through the resume looking at how much money you make, what can you offer or bring, etc. Then the interview process consists of only asking questions that are designed to locate “red flags.” A somewhat applicable process, but do you know where the quandary occurs in this process?
The quandary occurs when the resume reader fails to reveal anything about themselves. You can’t ask anyone to put their baggage on the table while remaining unwilling to do the same. As I often say, “Always first do or give what you seek from another.” Who are we to think we are above anyone, such as when we subject people to such privation because of our deep rooted past pain or unresolved issues? We always hear some say, “He or she is not for me”, well maybe you were not for them. We have to learn relationships are about “transparency” and walking as someone who is transparent. Transparency is defined whether you are willing to be honest in either in deed and words before you begin the “getting to know process.”
Relationships: Multiply and Divide
Multiply is defined as to make many or manifold; increase the number, quantity. ” Divide is defined as to separate or part from something else; cut off.” Another definition says, ” to separate in opinion or feeling, cause to disagree.” Before we consider that man, woman, friendship, or job we must consider whether we multiply or divide? Put simply, you must ask yourself, “Will I divide, subtract, or burden the life of this person?” Sadly, some of us don’t consider these things we only consider what we crave materially, emotionally, or physically. We should always ask those questions of ourselves to measure our motivation for wanting the relationship.
Personally before I decide to be in a relationship I ask myself those very questions. It’s very important to me to facilitate a glorious union. I ask myself how I can love her? How can I enhance and add depth to her life? How can I help her goals and purpose in God? What is the goal and purpose for this relationship in God? How can I help inspire her to a deeper level ? How can I help her success to be similar to, or more significant than my own? A wise man once told me, “Every great man has an even greater woman”; thus, I always see the greatness in a woman. Even if God has not called the woman to be my Queen she is great for someone.
Relationships can be a great asset or burden. We should all seek to cultivate positive relationships based on oneness, accord, unity, and team. Let’s all walk together and perform CPR, breathing life into someone by multiplying their life in some way.
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In His Love,
Quentin
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maria Reyes-McDavis, Crystal . Crystal said: Relationships: Do you multiply or divide? http://t.co/Quclrli by @QuentinMcCall <<Good stuff […]
Thank u!
I can truly say this was very enlightening&helpful. Your words of wisdom are definitely sent from God& He’s using you as an instrument to educate and influence lives in a positive way.
Thank you so much for your kind words. People like you make the effort all the more wonderful.
Hello Dione,
Thank you so much…people like yourself make it all worth it
This has been a blessing to me, I seek to add/multiply in my relationships but usually I end up being drained of love. It motivates me when favours are returned not that I’m expectant but I’m only human and can’t keep giving without receiving.
so happy what God has given me …has greatly blessed your life. Also be willing and open to share your love, heart, and life with others. True love is always based on giving; yet expecting nothing in return…
Thanks for that nice read and eye opener. We all want someone good, but can we provide that goodness to them?
thank you so much for the kind words my friend!
This is a good article on the steps to take when starting a relationship. It makes a lot of since. But we as women allow men that didn’t deserve the time of day destory what could be good relationships, with ignorant thinking from past relationships. This is nice. I will pass this information on. Be Blessed.
Those are some great questions Quentin, and what’s interesting is that most of us ladies would say we ask those same questions of ourselves…How can I enhance and add depth to his life? How can I help his goals and purpose in God?.
As we were rightfully taught, a woman’s position in a relationship is to HELP a Man get to that place in God where others can tell he’s been with God. Whether its taking care of the home while he’s working or being that supporter out in the work world with him, us women must understand that we should always be thinking how can we add value to this man’s life?
Good stuff Quentin!
WoW..Ms. Williams you got it..nothing else needs to be added my friend.
I agree with ALOT of what you said in this Blog, it just ashamed that there are alot of people in this world that think so selfishly!
Thanls Q
Very good article. I feel I am growing stronger in my walk…not necessarily spiritually, but the walk that allows me to be comfortable with me again. The thought in knowing being me is acceptable as long as I am pleasing in Gods eye sight. Thank you once again for this wisdom
Another amazing blog. Your blogs have been very beneficial. I just wanted to say thank you and to continue to let God use you.
[…] add to the beauty of who you are and never take away from anything that is precious about you. ( “Relationship Coaching: Do you multiply or divide?”) The Bible says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” (1 Corinthians […]
[…] add to the beauty of who you are and never take away from anything that is precious about you. ( “Relationship Coaching: Do you multiply or divide?”) The Bible says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” (1 Corinthians […]
There are so many women who haven’t been given the foundation on which to stand when it comes to relationships. This blog is a Godsend.
[…] 6 Reasons Selfishness Will Destroy Your Relationship May 8, 2012 By Quentin McCall Leave a Comment The relationship ended. No great reason, no explanation. Things just took a hard turn and fell apart. So, maybe looking back, there were some warning signs of problems. Communication was difficult (maybe non-existent, at times) or emotions would flare for no apparent reason. However, there was nothing significant enough to justify such a negative end to a relationship that started so well. Nothing justified actions that would cause so much hurt! This scenario is all too common. When it happens… we want answers. Why did they cheat? Why did they change? Why did we stop moving forward? Why did their love turn to hate? Why don’t they care about my feelings? What did I do wrong? How could they just cut me off… cold turkey? Why won’t they talk to me and allow me to have closure? There is one word that sits at the core of all of this confusion… selfishness. Selfishness is the root cause of many broken hearts. It is a slow flowing poison that erodes, burns, and sears the bonds of relationships. Strong relationships have a foundation that is based on the ability to grow to love. Selfishness is the direct opposite of love. Love gives, but selfishness takes. Being selfish involves a lot of “I” and has no room for “we”. Relationships and love are about togetherness; walking together as one. It’s pretty difficult to walk together with someone who has no concern for your presence or pace. Thus, if you enter a relationship with a selfish person (or if you are a selfish person), your relationships will not last. Here are 6 characteristics of selfishness in a relationship: 1. Selfishness introduces conditions – Selfish people have an attitude that says, “If you, then I.” If you meet their immediate needs or desires, then they may remain in the relationship. Their focus is not on adding to the life of the one they are with. They desire to have things added unto them. The downside of this is, in their quest to be added to, they may not even realize or care how much they are cutting down (or dividing) the person they are with. (Relationship Coaching: Do you multiply or divide?). […]
Thank u for being obedient to God’s word as God is truly using u in such a mighty way in an area of discussion people either avoid altogether or superficially talk about issues many of us face.
I wanted to add to what you mentioned about what are we bringing to the table. Many career focused women, including myself, are focused on whether a person has a degree, the car they drive, etc. I think it’s great when a man pursues higher education because that’s how I was raised, but at the same time, we shouldn’t treat anyone as “inferior” if they don’t hold a degree. If a man treats you right, has a job or has plans to better himself and is working towards that goal, we shouldn’t automatically right him off because we aren’t “impressed” with his resume.
Just some food for thought, how many career women would turn Jesus down if He were to walk the earth today because He was a carpenter?
Love these blogs!!!!