In order to have a relationship of honesty, clarity, love, and growth you have to communicate on deeper levels. One of the worst mistakes people make in relationships is not fully communicating openly and honestly about the deeper issues. Having a real talk opens up the relationship to much deeper connection and bonding. You will learn so much more about the nature and depth of your relationship. Far too often couples have polar opposite views on the direction of the relationship. One is thinking about marriage and the other one is thinking companionship only.
Here are great questions to ask the one you love:
1. What are ten things you like about me and what are ten things you don’t like about me?
Asking this question allows both partners to be clear about the things they love and areas they can improve to enhance the relationship. Don’t approach this from a negative view, see it as a couples’ introspection session, where two people learn more about how they truly feel about one another.
2. What is your favorite activity that we share together?
Asking this question allows you both to understand common hobbies, passions, and life values.
If one of you likes to skate and one of you loves to attend the movies, then you know where you need to compromise
3. Where do you want our relationship to go?
Essentially, this question will help both of you know the direction of the relationship. It’s better to know early rather than late if you are both on the same page. If not on the same page, then you can mutually agree to end the relationship, so you both can have the relationship that is appropriate with your goals, ambitions, and values.
4. Do you trust me?
Without trust there is no relationship, so this would be a good time to discuss if the lack of trust is justified or something from insecurities.
5. Can we talk to each other about anything?
If the answer is no, discuss the reasons and work on creating a bonding and open environment that will foster open communication.
6. What does love mean to you?
This question helps you both be on the same page about love. Love is a choice and unconditional. If two people feel differently about this, there is no way the relationship will last through the storms. Read my article “Relationship Coaching: Love is a choice”
7. What are your expectations of love and our relationship?
This question helps you both clearly understand positive and negative motives for being together.
8. Do you believe a relationship requires hard work or should it be easy?
If you can’t agree a real relationship requires hard work, address your differences.
9. What do you think we can do to make our relationship better?
This is a question to really listen to each other and take your relationship to another level by working together as one to enhance what you have.
Self Observation Questions
10. Do you trust your partner?
11. Are you truly ready to commit to a relationship leading to marriage? Are you emotionally ready and ready to commit emotionally to your partner? Are you staying with your partner just to pass the time until someone you think is better comes along?
12. Are you honest with yourself about your issues, what you think, and do? Do you accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices, or do you hide your actions if you do something wrong?
13. How do you show love and appreciation to your partner?
14. Are you respectful of your partner’s time or do you feel, no matter what is going on, you should come first even if that means they fail on a project or a job duty? Although this is a question for self, I would also like for you to explore this question with your partner.
Here’s what I want you to do next:-)
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