In order to have a relationship of honesty, clarity, love, and growth you have to communicate on deeper levels. One of the worst mistakes people make in relationships is not fully communicating openly and honestly about the deeper issues. Having a real talk opens up the relationship to much deeper connection and bonding. You will learn so much more about the nature and depth of your relationship. Far too often couples have polar opposite views on the direction of the relationship. One is thinking about marriage and the other one is thinking companionship only.
Here are great questions to ask the one you love:
1. What are ten things you like about me and what are ten things you don’t like about me?
Asking this question allows both partners to be clear about the things they love and areas they can improve to enhance the relationship. Don’t approach this from a negative view, see it as a couples’ introspection session, where two people learn more about how they truly feel about one another.
2. What is your favorite activity that we share together?
Asking this question allows you both to understand common hobbies, passions, and life values.
If one of you likes to skate and one of you loves to attend the movies, then you know where you need to compromise
3. Where do you want our relationship to go?
Essentially, this question will help both of you know the direction of the relationship. It’s better to know early rather than late if you are both on the same page. If not on the same page, then you can mutually agree to end the relationship, so you both can have the relationship that is appropriate with your goals, ambitions, and values.
4. Do you trust me?
Without trust there is no relationship, so this would be a good time to discuss if the lack of trust is justified or something from insecurities.
5. Can we talk to each other about anything?
If the answer is no, discuss the reasons and work on creating a bonding and open environment that will foster open communication.
6. What does love mean to you?
This question helps you both be on the same page about love. Love is a choice and unconditional. If two people feel differently about this, there is no way the relationship will last through the storms. Read my article “Relationship Coaching: Love is a choice”
7. What are your expectations of love and our relationship?
This question helps you both clearly understand positive and negative motives for being together.
8. Do you believe a relationship requires hard work or should it be easy?
If you can’t agree a real relationship requires hard work, address your differences.
9. What do you think we can do to make our relationship better?
This is a question to really listen to each other and take your relationship to another level by working together as one to enhance what you have.
Self Observation Questions
10. Do you trust your partner?
11. Are you truly ready to commit to a relationship leading to marriage? Are you emotionally ready and ready to commit emotionally to your partner? Are you staying with your partner just to pass the time until someone you think is better comes along?
12. Are you honest with yourself about your issues, what you think, and do? Do you accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices, or do you hide your actions if you do something wrong?
13. How do you show love and appreciation to your partner?
14. Are you respectful of your partner’s time or do you feel, no matter what is going on, you should come first even if that means they fail on a project or a job duty? Although this is a question for self, I would also like for you to explore this question with your partner.
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This is a MUST HAVE for the Right Time..Thank you for the valuable tools Quentin!
You are you welcome
Love this Blog. It helps you with getting to know one another and to know what level the relationship will be at before you get to far into a relationship and it is to late. It also helped me as far as how to ask the questions and why incase they ask why am I asking these questions. I am not really great at expressing myself. So this helps me alot in alot of different ways. Thanks so much for all that you do.
Thank you Joanne….I am so happy this content is a blessing to your life and will aid you in learning more about your dating partner..
I LOVE THIS,am about to do this with my bf later.Thanks
@SAgie Very good…it should be fun…!
This is an interesting article. I plan to use this with my guy. It seems like it’s a good way to see if we are on the same page and want the same things. The answers could be something you don’t want to hear but that doesn’t make them any less valid and honestly the sooner you know, the better.
I will definitely use this whenever I get into another relationship. This would have helped in my last relationship. I see now as I continue to read the blogs, pretty much every topic that I have had issues with are covered.
How do communicate with a person who can’t communicate? A lot of men are not good at communicating their feelings and when questions like the one above are asked, they buckle up, and you get nowhere but more confusion and frustration.
Quentin, I’ve been divorce for 9yr. And I have went out on a couple dates and we dated for a couple months. Some of the questions you have I’ve asked before. And I don’t know if it’s me or the men I dated, but they don’t want to go in this area of conversation. My feels were not theirs. I have found that many just want to be in a sexual relationship and not a relationship. And I am not going in that area at all and let it be known from the start. Help me!
That simply means you are attracting the wrong men and maybe approaching relationships the wrong way. I suggest you look deeply into the things you know are deeply rooted. Heal from those deep rooted issues to begin your healing. You see not wanting to be alone or thirsty for love we attract the wrong people, because their is a selfish need behind what we do…Take your time and approach every situation from the foundation of a simple friendship…No need to even be thinking about a relationship until much later down the road. It is a good thing if men are being honest with you about their intentions ….as long as they are before and not after you cross that line. If you begin to approach situations as purely friends you will avoid or weed out the men with wrong intentions. In the meantime work on being a better woman and making sure all of your deep rooted wounds are healed.
[…] in a sharing nature. They should ask questions. ( Learn about questions you can ask here->14 Great Questions To Ask The One You Love) I’ve always felt people never ask enough, or even the right, questions. Asking deep and […]
tanz ur article helped me 2day
Thi is a great job on point. Dont stop this writ-up becouse it is helpful to my relationship. God bless u more
I reallly enjoy all this question! I have already wrote it down so that it can help me in sometime i need to ask my love a question