5 Lies Selfishness will Cause you to Believe about Relationships

Our culture is inundated with the notion of self. We’ve heard lyrics and sayings all of our lives… “All by myself”, “Just me, myself, & I”, “I don’t need nobody”, “It’s all about me”, “I can do bad all by myself”, etc… This type of thinking is very empowering on the surface. However, the root of it is not based on substance. It is, most often, an emotional response to some sort of pain or hurt.
We get hurt. So, we blame others for all of our pain and we isolate ourselves. We are convinced that self is the only one who can be trusted. The biggest problem here is… we have not taken the time to own our part in our pain. What did we do to contribute to this? We must stop blaming everyone else for our problems and understand that we bear accountability for our decisions.   

The Bible says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”(Philippians 2:4). This means we should continue looking out for the interests of others, even when we don’t feel like it. When we isolate ourselves and only focus on us… we are not pleasing God. We become self-involved (selfish) and do not attend to the needs of others. We become blind to the realities of situations and convince ourselves of things that are just not true.
That’s what selfishness does. It causes you to believe things that are not true.
Here are 5 lies selfishness will cause you to believe:
1. You are more important than everyone else – Selfishness will cause us to believe we are the priority… always. This high-minded attitude puts us in a place where we don’t readily give or serve, because we will believe it is always imperative that our wants are met before anyone else’s needs. (“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” ~ Romans 12:3)

2. You are your own God – Selfishness will make it difficult for us to truly humble ourselves before God. We will struggle with submitting to His Will for our life, because we will believe that we truly do have all the answers. (“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” ~ Isaiah 55:8)

3. Your feelings matter more than fact – Selfishness will keep us enslaved to our emotions. We cannot allow ourselves to toil around and entertain every thought within ourselves. We must actively fight against those things. (“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” ~ Ephesians 6:12)

4. People who disagree with you are always wrong – Selfishness will cause us to close our ears to people who do not think the way we think; to be short tempered with those who advise against the way we plan on going. We must understand selfishness blocks wisdom and can lead us down a path of destruction. (“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” ~ Proverbs 12:15)

5. No one truly loves you – Selfishness will only be an incubator for our other issues of distrust, insecurity, fear, etc… Those problems will grow, not resolve. They will be made worse and not get better. As these problems get bigger, our ability to love and recognize love becomes more distant. We must seek to heal the root of our selfishness so that we can grow to love freely and unconditionally. (“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Closing thought:
It is never too late to be freed from the grips of selfishness. If anyone tells you it is… do not believe that lie. Freedom starts with truth. Tell yourself the truth, admit you need help, and get the help you need. I am available for Coaching Sessions, if you need help getting started….

Follow the Series:
Part 1: 6 Reasons Selfishness Will Destroy Your Relationship
Part 2: 5 Things You Must Know About Selfish People

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