6 Places You Will Not Find Your Future Husband or Wife

I am always pleased to hear the stories of happy, confident men and women of God who had no prospect in sight for marriage and then meet a person who they enter into a courtship with. It’s a blessing to see how being happy alone allows them to have healthy relationships.

Over the years, I’ve heard many men and women say things like “there are no good men or women” or “good men or women are hard to find.” However, there are many places you may meet your future husband or wife. Responsible dating is definitely one way that could lead to that (Read “23 Things You Need to Know About Dating”). However, today I want to share some places you should avoid! There are places where your future husband will likely never show up.

Here are 6 places you will NOT find your future Husband or Wife:

1. In Your Dreams – There is nothing wrong with considering the type of man or woman you should marry. However, if you find yourself excessively daydreaming and fantasizing about a man or woman… you are creating a situation where you are not choosing to love, but instead dreaming of romance and superficial things. Instead, use this time to focus on you and become the type of person you desire to marry. Become the person you want to marry.  6 places you will not find your husband or wife

2. At a Gender-Bashing Session – Human nature makes it easier to identify and focus on the bad in people. However, if you desire to get married, you must learn to see the redeeming qualities of men and women;practice the principles of grace and forgiveness. Besides, what man would want to willingly open his heart and life to a woman he knows would so quickly see (and vigorously share) his faults?

3. In the Middle of Emotional Rage – As I’ve mentioned before, men desire a simple woman and women desire a man with vision. Part of this simplicity and vision is stability. It’s natural to get upset or disappointed from time to time, but if you are unable to communicate those senses in a mature way, it is unlikely they will be committing the rest of their life to you.

4. In a Moment of Desperation – Desperation is a purely emotional response. You can’t follow God’s will for your life and respond to this emotion at the same time. As my Pastor once told me years ago in Minister Training, “Wisdom says wait; emotions say hurry.” Another way to think about it is, “God gently leads you and satan drives you to emotion.”

5. At the End of Nagging – Proverbs 21:19 says it is “better to live in a dessert than with a quarrelsome and nagging woman.” Ladies, if you want to be a wife, learn to communicate your point in a loving and respectful way (regardless of the circumstance).

6. Wherever You are “Hunting” for Him – Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing…”. This does not mean women are to just sit around at home waiting for the doorbell to ring (See “Do You Hide Behind Faith to Avoid Having a Relationship?”). However, it does mean the man is to be the primary leader regarding the direction of the relationship, especially when you begin courting. (Read “27 Things You Need To Know About Courtship”).

Closing thought:
If you want to be married, just know… it is more important for you to invest time into preparing yourself to be a wonderful wife and individual than it is for you to focus on getting to the alter or making someone your husband. Do your part to date responsibly, get to know people, and seek God’s guidance in moving forward with relationship decisions.

I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will help you when put it into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …

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