Do you make these mistakes because of Anger?

“A quick-tempered man does foolish things.” Proverbs 14:17

“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” Proverbs 29:22

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 29:11

Anger is a choice. We must make a choice to express anger in healthy ways. Many of us including myself have struggled with anger for varying reasons. How many of you can relate to my past problems of punching walls, slamming doors, punching car windows, road rage, breaking things, or speaking things out of anger?Do you make these mistakes because of Anger?
Anger was my cry for help, because I was truly hurting on the inside. Anger is rooted in insecurities and a lack of affirming love; because of that lack of love, we spend our life trying to find or make up for what we never had. Each time the anger is shown, it speaks to the deep wounds on the inside behind the rage there is much pain.
I remember being angry, because people did not see I was hurting. My anger was my token and I felt trapped by it. I deeply wanted help and could not find any way out of it. When I was 16 shortly after the death of my uncle Eugene I felt my anger increase, because after he passed away, I really was alone to deal with my pain. He was like a father to me.
As stated earlier anger comes from deeply rooted rejection and insecurity, and is a cry for respect, when a person lacks affirming love. So the question is what is causing your anger? More importantly have you been honest about the root cause? Once I was honest with myself about the root of my anger I was able to begin my healing. Please understand anger is not bad, but mismanaged anger is bad. This means that we must not act out in unhealthy forms of anger which cause us to sin. The anger must be shown in healthy ways.
If you have suffered from anger like I have please understand your anger is being feed by something. Many of us feel strong and powerful when we are angry, but deep inside we are lonely, fearful, and crying for help. We can’t solve our problems by responding with unhealthy forms of anger. I realized I had a deep wound that needed to be healed.
Dealing with anger begins with making a choice not to become angry in unhealthy ways. In my own life, I made a decision to create alternatives to dealing with my anger. For example instead of yelling or responding physically (punching walls, slamming doors, etc.), I would seek to express my need for understanding in a nonthreatening way. Most people will respond positively if we approach them in love explaining our concerns. Anger never makes anything better just worse. When we love we attract people to us; when we allow negative anger to appear we repeal love.

Here are 8 steps to begin healing from anger:
1. Understand why you have anger
2. Admit the root of your anger. Rejection? Insecurity? Lack of Love? Did you see one or both of your parents demonstrate anger?
3. Don’t respond with your first reaction when you feel yourself getting angry. Hold back and respond with love or step away to discuss it at another time once you calm down.
4. Consider getting professional help with your anger. This is something I have done in my teen years, young adult years, and as recently as 2009. I would say it started to really help one me once I discovered the root of the anger.

5. Read the book, The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life (amazon affiliate link)

6. Create healthy alternatives to anger
7. Pray and ask God to help you have healthy anger responses.
8. Anger is also tied to worth, so examine why you feel you don’t feel worthy or respected

What other things can you do to help manage your anger?

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