Spiritual Growth Coaching: 10 Steps to Forgiveness

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong- Gandhi
First, I want to thank everyone for the continued love and support. I have received countless messages concerning my blogs along with several questions. I give God the glory for your words, kindness, love, and support. I am happy people are being blessed Spiritual Growth: 10 steps to forgivenessthrough my gifts.

In life we all have encountered some form of hurt, pain, or disappointment. Some of us have been run through the mud, deceived, and used. Some of us thought we were loved; yet, found out we were “friend with a benefit.” Some of you were cheated on and your girlfriend slept with your man. Some of you got involved with a 3some and your man/woman liked them better and dropped you. Some of you wanted to swing and it ruined your relationship. Some of you are married and cheating because he/she is cheating. Some of you were molested and find it hard to truly connect with someone.

No matter the degree or level of pain you have to let go, forgive yourself, and forgive the person. Continuing to live in this poison of unforgiveness torments your life. The book of Matthew 18:23-25 teaches us when don’t forgive people you get turned over to the torturer. Meaning in your thoughts you have hate or feelings of bitterness swimming in your mind. When you walk in forgiveness you help yourself. I know for many of you the thought of forgiving someone who has hurt you is hard. You are thinking, “Hey I got all the pain and he/she has moved on!”

In your mind you feel you are in a cage; yet, they have total freedom. You also help the other person when you forgive, because you are releasing them to God. Sometimes you have to “get out of the way”, so God can do his work. You have to trust in God. God will deal with who “truly” hurt us, if we put it in his hands through forgiveness. Forgiving is a seed of obedience to his word. When you forgive you allow God to heal your heart. You live a healthier life free of poison of unforgiveness. The stress of walking in unforgiven hinders your faith and blocks your blessings. How can you ask God to forgive you; yet, you can’t forgive and sow mercy unto another? Unforgiveness nested in your heart will slowly destroy your life. The seed of unforgiveness roots itself in other areas of your life and cause deeper issues. Naturally when something happens to us that hurt it’s just as fresh in our minds as if it has just happened.

You see let’s say you are attending church and the pastor brings forth a good word. Well you feel the word was just for you…….you leave church throw the notes and the bible in the car…………you never even look at them again for the entire week. During the week you think of the word you heard and trying hard to hold it in your heart. By the end of the week the word has left you………..have you ever wondered why? The word left because unforgiveness has your heart hard. You can’t receive the word in your heart when it’s hard….God wants to fellowship with you and love on you…..when you have harden yourself it’s tough.

The book of Matthew 6: 14-15 says, for if you forgive people their trespasses (their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go and giving up resentment); your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses (their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go and giving up resentment) neither will your father forgive you your trespasses.” (Amp)

How to forgive and let go:

1. Let go and trust God….Lean on God– it’s very difficult to forgive when you are not depending on God. Allow God to have you don’t do your own thing and try to heal without him.  The Holy Spirit wants to come in so allow it.

2. Make a choice– Make a choice today you will walk in forgiveness and let go. Chose to obey God and  God will heal your wounded heart (Matt 6: 12, 14)

3. Pray–  Pray for those who have hurt you and ask forgiveness for people you have hurt.

4. Don’t hurt people because you are hurting

5. Control your emotions – Don’t make emotional decisions that will have long term consequences. For example let me be frank…….Having sex with someone because you lonely, want to be touched, or the person makes you feel loved. Then a baby is conceived off a feeling.

6. Have a passion to walk in forgiveness

7. Don’t have negative outlets to deal with pain (shopping, sex, drinking, drugs, food, women, men, etc)

8. Forgive yourself for past/present pains you have caused others. You can’t pay people back if you have been mistreated God will deal with them.

9. Take down the walls and learn to trust.

10. Seek professional and/or spiritual help if needed.

I pray this has been a blessing. Writing this even allowed me to minister to myself. Unforgiveness is a poison, so wash yourself in the word of God to get clean.

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In his love, Quentinspiritual growth: 10 steps to forgiveness