Often, we enter into relationships with the thought of having better love, or companionship, or thoughts that life will simply become better because of the relationship. The nature of man is selfishness and we forget that we can’t numb our pain, hurt, or disappointment through a relationship. If we learn to seek real friendships over love we will be able to build fruitful unions.
Sadly, many of us don’t know how to have true friendships or understand the power of having a friendship before love. Friendship has levels and we must learn these levels so we can have clarity of where we are with people in the process of getting to know them. We must embrace the beauty of friendship and take time to get to know people before we can love. Friendship requires the same devotion and commitment that any relationship does.
Friendship is the place that we develop the necessary environment to build a strong and thriving relationship a place in which we learn to focus on the other person rather than ourselves. We must always be asking ourselves, what do I bring to his/her life? We must always be exactly what we are expecting from another.
Jesus used this very method in his ministry. Learning to take the focus off of us and becoming true friends before love is the beginning of true love. Here are 4 levels of friendship before entering a serious relationship:
1. Acquaintance. This is the lowest form of friendship. We all have plenty of people who fall into this category. Nothing is wrong with being acquainted with people. We have to also stop being so rude and closed off to people. None of us are better than someone else. God sees us all as equals.
2. Casual friend. At this second level of friendship we usually share common interest and activities. You spend more time together, but you are not connecting on deep emotional levels. You simply enjoy shared time and common interest. Seek to learn more about a person at this level.
3. Close friends. Okay now we are getting to more depth at this level. By this time you know more about the other’s shared values, views, and character. At this level, you develop real fellowship and closeness to lead you past this level. However, at this point you can speak regarding each other’s life, as well as provide help and advice to each other.
4. Intimate friends. This level means two people are devoted to helping each other become better people. You are looking out for each other and you are making sure, without a doubt, that you are both okay. You are deeply concerned about the character of each other.
After you progress through these levels then you can consider a relationship that will be based on true and real reasons. By the time you reach the last level you should know the good and bad about someone. You will be able to make a healthy choice to be with them without making purely emotional decisions.
Here’s what I want you to do next:-)
I’m glad you read this far, because it means you’ve learned a lot of good information that will help you when put into practice. Here’s what I want you to do next …
- If this article is doing it for you, click the re-tweet button or face book share below to share it with others.
- Share your comments below.
- Sign up below for my free 20 day audio series and K4L newsletter for additional content to help improve your life, relationship and career.