Often, we enter into relationships with the thought of having better love, or companionship, or thoughts that life will simply become better because of the relationship. The nature of man is selfishness and we forget that we can’t numb our pain, hurt, or disappointment through a relationship. If we learn to seek real friendships over love we will be able to build fruitful unions.
Sadly, many of us don’t know how to have true friendships or understand the power of having a friendship before love. Friendship has levels and we must learn these levels so we can have clarity of where we are with people in the process of getting to know them. We must embrace the beauty of friendship and take time to get to know people before we can love. Friendship requires the same devotion and commitment that any relationship does.
Friendship is the place that we develop the necessary environment to build a strong and thriving relationship a place in which we learn to focus on the other person rather than ourselves. We must always be asking ourselves, what do I bring to his/her life? We must always be exactly what we are expecting from another.
Jesus used this very method in his ministry. Learning to take the focus off of us and becoming true friends before love is the beginning of true love. Here are 4 levels of friendship before entering a serious relationship:
1. Acquaintance. This is the lowest form of friendship. We all have plenty of people who fall into this category. Nothing is wrong with being acquainted with people. We have to also stop being so rude and closed off to people. None of us are better than someone else. God sees us all as equals.
2. Casual friend. At this second level of friendship we usually share common interest and activities. You spend more time together, but you are not connecting on deep emotional levels. You simply enjoy shared time and common interest. Seek to learn more about a person at this level.
3. Close friends. Okay now we are getting to more depth at this level. By this time you know more about the other’s shared values, views, and character. At this level, you develop real fellowship and closeness to lead you past this level. However, at this point you can speak regarding each other’s life, as well as provide help and advice to each other.
4. Intimate friends. This level means two people are devoted to helping each other become better people. You are looking out for each other and you are making sure, without a doubt, that you are both okay. You are deeply concerned about the character of each other.
After you progress through these levels then you can consider a relationship that will be based on true and real reasons. By the time you reach the last level you should know the good and bad about someone. You will be able to make a healthy choice to be with them without making purely emotional decisions.
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People read and reread the 4 types of friendships…it might put some things into perspective for you…
thank u for reading my friend
Good words.
But*: white space can be your friend. too.
*Why is there always a ‘but’? 🙂
Well in some cases being alone is a friend…..so only a but for those who feel that way:-)
Excellent article with great, sound advice! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Veronica…
Very great blog. It’s very true that being friends first is a great way to begin a relationship. My friend and I are actually building a relationship from our 5 year friendship. It has made things great between us. Because he’s my friend I am more comfortable sharing my heart with him in a new way.
Thank you dede…
speechless.
thank you for sharing.
you are very welcome
@Riss you are very welcome
Very refreshing!! Another excellent read that has the ability to empower those that need it…GREAT JOB!!
@ladonna thank you so much. I am here to serve you
Thanks for posting this. I had an idea about friendship coming before relationship but I seriously enjoyed and learned a lot from how gave a breakdown of the friendship process. God bless you richly.
@Bob ..thank you so much…we often forget the importance of friendship and rush things……
Very good read. Intresting and informative perspective on a genuine friendship. It’s unfortunate in this individualistic culture we live in, many don’t take the time nor process the steps of friendship for fear of betrayal and/or simply lack of trust. I was one of them. I had tons of acquaintances but wouldn’t allow people to get to close to me because I had been hurt in the past. Once I decided to truly forgive and forget (loved that article) I was able to establish and maintain several healthy friendships.
@Deric…..thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, forgiveness begins our healing
wonderful read, I wish I would have read this a year ago….I will share this for sure.
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[…] 2. Ability to be his friend – A man loves a woman who can truly be his friend. Many men feel friendship is very important because it creates an environment of sharing, openness, and the ability to truly get to know a woman. To learn more read The one relationship mistake you don’t know you’re making. […]
[…] Most of you reading this right now read my articles on a regular basis and are aware of my philosophy of becoming friends before lovers. If you aren’t aware of my stance on friendship, here are two articles to read that will give you the foundation “The One Relationship Mistake You Don’t Know You’re Making” . […]
[…] Most of you reading this right now read my articles on a regular basis and are aware of my philosophy of becoming friends before lovers. If you aren’t aware of my stance on friendship, here are two articles to read that will give you the foundation […]
Wonderful advice this shows me I’m going in the right direction with my one friend whom I love.
This is very new reading this takes me back and I’m able to see how much our friendship has grown.
And will continue to grow into something beautiful.
Thank you.