Often people rationalize their singleness with the fact that God is not ready for them to be married or He has not yet sent “the one.” If you are someone who reads my work often, you know I champion the cause of singleness and truly believe it is the season, in which, we prepare for marriage. Thus, it is very important for us to enjoy our singleness and be “the one” we seek to have.
In my article “9 Reasons Singleness is Good for You,” I discussed the beauty of being single and how important it is to be truly single and whole before God. Yet, sometimes Christian Singles find themselves sitting around frustrated while they wait for “the one” for them to just show up and knock on their front door. We typically neglect to see the importance of what I term “intentional dating.” Thus, we never get out and start learning what we like (and even discovering more about ourselves).
Am I suggesting God cannot work miracles and cause “the one” for you just to show up? No, I am not, because He can cause this to happen. However, I think it’s less likely to happen for some of us, because of lack of faith and hearing from God. If God just did things like that all the time, there would be no need to pray and have faith in His promises. God requires us to get up and move! The Bible teaches, “Faith without works is dead.” (James 2:26) So, we need to walk in faith through action. Go move out on faith through action!
We will meet the one God has for us by staying on the road with Him, not the road away from Him. However, there is nothing wrong with being proactive when we are ready for a relationship (8 Signs You Are Ready for a Relationship). All of us who profess God are very proactive in other areas of our life… from going to college in the hopes of securing a job to exercising in order to achieve a better physical body and state of health. God did not create us to sit around asking for handouts. Some singles need to get out and be a little more proactive and intentional in their dating to meet someone. Keep in mind, I am not suggesting being a pick-up artist, but I am saying to mingle a little. Having faith is taking action.
Some people will read this and think it’s wrong or, in some way, sinful. That’s OK, because that is not my intent. We cannot continue to use our faith as an excuse when the truth is we are scared or hurting or uncertain or confused or think we have failed in so many relationships that it is really easier to not deal. So, in order to avoid facing the truth, we use our faith as rationalization.
Final thought:
People use their faith to avoid all the pitfalls of dating, but I am here to help. I can write all the great advice and offer to sale you the best relationship products, but if you don’t put into action what you are learning, then the same mistakes will occur. It’s time we make God proud by walking in faith and not running from fear of things not working. If we approach dating as a friendship and chance to get to know people (and more about ourselves), we will avoid the usual pitfalls, because we have removed the sex, selfishness, and the emotions that usually come from it. Dating is not the problem people are. (Simple Dating Do’s and Don’ts when getting to know someone)
God will help you have your mate, but He will not choose your mate. God has always given us free-will and choice. Seek Him for wisdom and do what He has placed on your heart, but don’t use faith as an excuse for avoiding love.
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Loved the article. I agree that often we use faith as a crutch. We say we’re waiting for God to send us a job, mate, opportunity but we will not put our faith into action and move. It’s okay to be scared but we are to be reminded that God has not given us a spirit of fear.
Thank You so much for your kind words. Everything you said is “spot on” Be Encouraged…
Very informing and enlightening article! I confess that I was sitting around waiting but I must get out and mingle to find out what I like and get to know prospective dates as friends first. Thank you.
great article. now i know that i have been wasting time. thanks
You are welcome
Very common my friend and many are unaware they are doing it. Thank you for your kind words and comment
Man this was awesome! A great reminder. Definitely have found myself there and feel God saying the same things at times. Safer as a loner, but God keeps us in all situations if we allow Him to. Keep doing it for the KIngdom QUENTIN!
Thank you my friend. I am so happy you were blessed. Share with others..
I think it’s important to remember that as singles we must use discernment & not “date” using worldly standards. To me, most people know very quickly if they person they are seeing is someone they would like to start a relationship with or not. And if you cannot see yourself being seriously involved with the person you accept a date from, than you should NOT go out with them again. Spending more time with them would just lead them on & hurt them in the end.
This is right on time with what I’m going through right now. I’m realizing that I can’t sit back and wait for things to develop; I need to be a lot more proactive an deliberate with my dating. Thanks so much!!!
You know its interesting that you said that because I moved to a state where I didn’t have any friends. I had trust issues when it comes to having friends so It was like God told me, If you believe that I will give you some friend go out and find them.” So I joined some meet up groups and I am starting, slowly to make friends. Faith without works for any area of our lives is —–DEAD. Thank you for this article!!
[Blog] A Few Reasons Why You Maybe Missing The “One” for You. Please RT.-> http://t.co/OJns0HFc
Do You Hide Behind Faith to Avoid Having a Relationship? http://t.co/oEsqTTt7
[Blog] Do You Hide Behind Faith to Avoid Having a Relationship? Please RT. -> http://t.co/w1ziTVjw
I don’t know if it’s what we are inadvertently being taught, but there seems to be a consensus among women in the church that we should “Be so hidden in God that a man has to come to Him to find us”. Translated, that means we just sit by and languish because God is going to cause the perfect man to tap us on the shoulder in the pew on Sunday and say ‘You’re the woman God made for me!’ and we will live happily ever after with the instant-freeze dried perfect man in a box. Just add tears of joy. lol
I’m being facetious but I can’t tell you how many women I know believe that. They don’t make themselves available socially and they are hard on any man who does draw near. If he has any outward flaws at all, he gets rejected because God “knows what I need”. Unreasonable, unrealistic expectations. Reason #8 why you might still be single – thinking God is going to send you someone without flaw, so you won’t have to work in your relationship to get the man ‘God made’ for you.
[…] This does not mean women are to just sit around at home waiting for the doorbell to ring (See “Do You Hide Behind Faith to Avoid Having a Relationship?”). However, it does mean the man is to be the primary leader regarding the direction of the […]