This week, we will continue with the theme of making love last forever (in case you missed it… Part 1: How to Love Forever).
Does the thought of love lasting forever scare you? Maybe you are thinking, “Yeah right, nothing is forever.” Perhaps you even find yourself laughing hysterically at the very thought of being in a sincerely loving relationship. If that is the case, then you are certainly not alone.
Many have given up on love because of unresolved pain, disappointments, or fear of the unknown. Some people are just exhausted; figuring they spent time creating a list of how Mr. or Mrs. Right should be… only to realize that person does not seem to exist.
Despite what some people believe, finding “the right person” is not the key to staying in love. It’s finding someone who is committed to becoming the right person while you work to become the right person. It’s finding someone who is not afraid to put you first while you overcome your fear of putting him or her first. It’s about making ‘love’ a verb.
What is Your Motive?
Always check your motives. Our motives for love and relationships factor into the success or failure of our relationships. Many of us want to be loved, but how many of us are willing to give and love the way we want someone to love us?
The Bible teaches, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” (Philippians 2:3). Our motive for love should not be about us. We are not to seek love or relationships solely for a selfish motive of getting something from someone. Love is what we give… not what we get. We have to learn to love the way Jesus taught us.
Learn to Love From Jesus
Jesus gave us the model of how we should love. When two people come together and love this way they develop a beautiful and strong relationship. For example, love is not about competing with each other, but loving one another. Jesus never competed with us, He just loved us. He valued us above himself. So, in a loving relationship, we are to value and respect the other person above ourselves. When couples love in this way, it is a reflection of how Jesus loves us. Treat people like they are more important than you are. This is the natural essence of the sacrificial nature of God.
People Really Don’t Want to Love Like Jesus
Some of you may have a problem with putting someone else before yourself. However, we can’t say we love Jesus, but we deny or reject His teachings. This is where your faith, prayer, and ability to hear from God come in. To have uncommon love, you must learn to love uncommonly.
We can’t learn to properly love in relationships by watching TV and the foolishness portrayed on various reality shows. That feeds negative and carnal information into our minds. Many will say, “It’s just entertainment.” However, how many times does “just entertainment” become your thinking, philosophy, or habit? It happens all the time… you just don’t recognize it as quickly, because we all like to think we are always in total control and nothing can negatively influence us. Well, think about one of your past relationships… (Seriously, think about it). Now, I will rest my case there.
So, How Do You Start to Love Correctly?
(1) Learning to love correctly begins with learning how to be selfless. The opposite of love is selfishness. So, you have to begin to do what speaks love.
(2) You must respect your partner. Respect begins the moment you wake up every morning and not when you feel like it, want something, or are trying to manipulate your partner into doing something you desire.
(3) Learn to defer and not feel like you have to always win every argument or discussion. Remember, love is not about competition. Love is about helping each other win.
(4) Treat them as a valued possession. For example, let’s say you finally got the car you’ve always wanted… Would you kick your car or internally mistreat it? Or, would you spend every weekend pampering your car? Treat the person you love greater than your most valued possession.
That’s it for now, but there is plenty more to cover. Next week, we will continue with Part 3. Be sure to subscribe below to make sure you don’t miss it.
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